Of Course, Of Course

I figured out that love is more trouble than it's worth when I was five years old, which is a large part of why I ended up in those "special education" classes. The establishment just knew that I was better than everybody else.

Anyhow, there's one thing that I've always noticed about love: when you're in it, it's the greatest love of all and everybody else is an asshole. Nobody ever takes the time to understand anybody else's feelings, and I think that's a tragedy. After all, how can you truly despise someone if you don't know them really well?

There are certain romances out there that you just know are the real thing. They're much like Romeo and Juliet, where nothing can stop their passion, save the warm embrace of death. If you don't get that, you don't know what love is. And not only am I disgusted with you, so is Lou Gramm.

Rodell Vereen knows what love is supposed to be about. He found a soul mate that he knew that life wasn't worth living without. He pursued that love in the face of a cruel society that was determined to destroy his happiness. Everything that could be done to crush the bond between Mr. Vereen and his beloved was. Yet still he persevered, overcoming every obstacle that was placed before him.

But no one will write that great tale of love the way it's supposed to be. I would, but I have no soul.

Serial horse-shagger Rodell Vereen was charged with buggery and trespassing again… while on probation for buggering the same horse.

The horse’s owner, Barbara Kenley, owns the “Lazy B Stables” in Conway, SC. The bad-ass, shotgun bearing Ms. Kenley caught Vereen with his pants down and in the middle of a tender moment with Sugar, Barbara’s 21-year-old horse. Vereen was jailed for shagging Sugar back in 2007, and Ms. Kenley thought that Sugar’s troubles were over when he was convicted.

Not so. Surveillance cameras, installed after Sugar was assaulted the first time, revealed a human-on-horse act in the stables on July 19th. Sugar’s unwelcome Romeo was indeed back. Kenley alerted police, but the police were unable to identify Sugar’s attacker in the CCTV footage. Kenley knew, however, that Vereen would be unable to stay away, and this time she was ready.

Barbara Kenley and the Lazy B Stables are clearly being overprotective. Isn't Sugar over 21? Doesn't that mean that she can decide what her heart wants without everyone going into a frenzy? Don't they understand that the heart wants what the heart wants?

Instead, Rodell Vereen is vilified and even prosecuted. He's called things like "sick", "demented", and "a horsefucker." Nobody even commends his perseverance or dedication. He knows what his heart wants.

You'd think that the people of South Carolina would at least look at the bright side and recognize that, if nothing else, at least it isn't a same-sex relationship. At least this isn't too weird.

But the more I think about it, the more I recognize the real tragedy here. And I haven't heard the goddamned liberal media say a word about it. You know what the absolute ugliest part of this story is?

Somewhere out there Rick Santorum is laughing his ass off.

Hi Ho Silver, Away!